Sunday, August 14, 2005

Morning, Day 5, and REALLY INTERESTING Recap of Day 4

Well. Yesterday was more interesting than I thought it would be on a variety of levels, both smoking-related and not smoking-related (but therefore related, because it's all related to trying to quit, right??).

A little bit of background - for those who don't know, my husband and I are both musicians (though we have "real" jobs) and we have a band. He runs it and plays drums, I sing and handle the finances. We live outside of Washington DC and yesterday we had a gig. It wasn't supposed to be a bad gig - we were to play for an hour and a half at a race track in the Virginia suburbs. 5-6:30. The band is great, so it was a pretty easy outdoor gig. Hold that thought because I'll come back to it.

So my husband goes to gigs way before me because he has all of this equipment to set up. I'd say he got there at about 1pm. I left our house to head there at about 3pm. I had a bunch of stuff to bring - some equipment, a cooler full of ice and water, etc. I had to move my car seats around to maneuver some of the things in. As I'm moving one of the seats, I find a cigarette. A whole, unsmoked, unblemished cigarette that has clearly fallen out of the last pack I had. I picked it up and looked at it. I put it on my center console in the car, where I could see it, and left for the gig. I drove for like 15 minutes, looking more at that cigarette than at the road and was really torn as to what I would do. Finally I just asked myself: "What's it going to be? Shit or get off the pot." I tore it in half and threw it out the window. Man I wanted that fucking smoke.

There is more story to tell as the day progressed, but that will have to wait until I'm back from running errands...

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