Thursday, August 11, 2005

Day 2

Today was a bit more difficult. Let me set the stage a bit.

I took a new job in July of this year. So, I've had the new job for slightly over a month. I really love it. It's a more responsible position than I've previously held and it's at a company that truly has a soul - you aren't just as good as your last meeting, etc. and so forth. At any rate, today and agian tomorrow we have our semi-annual Board meeting. I'm a part of it. It's interesting, frankly, but makes for a long day in a conference room.

Today we started at about 9 and broke at about 5:30. We took regular bio-breaks but no long breaks - it was a long day with a lot of nervous energy piling up. It was also the first day I really felt any withdrawal symptoms.

A few hours after lunch, I got nauseated. Just slightly - like my stomach would kind of turn over every so often and my throat would get tight. Further, I had a dull, persistent headache the whole day. I don't know if those were withdrawal symptoms or not, but I sure felt like poo.

When we finished, as I was heading to my car (I had to shrug off dinner as I felt that poorly) I realized I was kind of absently digging in my purse - I realized in a few moments what it was I sought - my cigarettes. Of course, I don't have any. I readjusted my hand-grope to find my sunglasses (my keys were already in my hand). But I knew in that very moment that I would sell my soul for a cigarette - a nice, long, leisurely-smoked cigarette.

I'll say this. It would have been really easy to go and get one, to bum one even, and no one would have been the wiser. But I didn't. I just lived with that soul-selling urge and the mild nausea and the headache. I'm safely home - it's just before 9pm. The soul-selling urge has receded and the nausea is completely gone. A hint of the headache remains, but that's about it.

I've lived through day #2.

The count:

I have NOT smoked 31 cigarettes. I have saved $6.20.


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At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in the middle of Day 2 and it sucks as bad as Day 1. This is not the first time I have quit (7 and then 5 years). Those both ended with ONE bad decision. I SO want to make another bad decision RIGHT NOW. I am making this attempt with just the patch. Wish me luck because I am struggling.

Dave W

At 5:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

40 hours without a dip. Tired, dizzy, confused. Slept poorly last night. Counting down the hours until I'm bedtime. Miserable. Ughhh.


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